


It's hard to say that I love you

by traumschwinge



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: From Sex to Love, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 04:25:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1805218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traumschwinge/pseuds/traumschwinge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For someone unflappable by just about everything, Jim is rather disturbed by the note he finds with his tea one morning.</p><p>Inspired by one of bashermoriarty's gifsets on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's hard to say that I love you

**Author's Note:**

> I saw [this gifset](http://bashermoriarty.tumblr.com/post/88617489715/it-took-one-week-for-jim-to-finally-return-the) by [bashermoriarty](http://bashermoriarty.tumblr.com) and couldn’t help myself…

Jim yawned as he padded out of his bedroom, still in his pajamas. Sebastian had already left at the crack of dawn to carry out some minor things for him. He wouldn’t be back before the evening, but Jim didn’t mind. More time without distraction would mean more time to get things done he had neglected lately. There were some idiots that owed him big time, for example, that he hadn’t decided what to do about yet.

In the kitchen, he found everything prepared for breakfast, as Sebastian, thoughtful pretty tiger that he was, had cooked for two instead of just having a cup of coffee on the go. Silly boy was always complaining Jim didn’t take enough care of himself if it wasn’t for showing off to somebody or else.

The first thing he did was padding over to the electric kettle. Sebastian had even put enough water for a cup of tea into it so all Jim really had to do was turn on the kettle and the microwave where Sebastian had placed a plate of food to have a nice warm breakfast. Jim supposed if all his mornings would be like that whenever Sebastian stayed over, he could just stay over for good.

He took out the tea and paused. There had been a note leaned against it. He didn’t have to be a genius to recognize Sebastian’s handwriting immediately. Curious as to why Sebastian would leave him a note, not out in the open but at a place where he definitely would find it just about first thing in the morning, he took the note and paused.

Jim swallowed.

Well, at least this explained why Sebastian had been extra thoughtful this morning.

Jim pulled over a chair.

It also explained why he had taken his time with making breakfast for Jim.

Jim slowly sank down on the chair, note still in hand.

Thinking about it, it explained why Sebastian was always willing to stay the night whenever Jim asked as well.

Jim put the note down on the table, careful not to damage it. He buried his face in his hands just as the kettle started to whistle.

–

Jim looked over to the door when he heard the key turn in the lock. Was it that late already? With a sigh, he let himself sink back on the couch. He hadn’t been able to get done anything at all today. By the time he had realized that he couldn’t concentrate for five seconds, he had turned on the telly and, apparently, had let himself lulled in by it for half the day.

“Boss?” he heard Sebastian call. “You there?” Oh, right, the flat was dark save for the telly showing some utterly dull film, as Jim hadn’t found it in him to turn on the lights.

“Evening, tiger,” he said weakly. He still didn’t know what to say about the note. His hopes about solving that problem by avoiding it were very close to nil.

“You alright?” Sebastian asked. He had walked into the sitting room now and was looking down at Jim still lying down on the couch looking just a minute short from miserable. “Anything you want to share? Did you dear Sherlock something for you to mope about again?”

Jim made a noncommittal noise and waved with the note.

“You found a note?” All of a sudden, Sebastian sounded guarded. Like he was readying himself for a blow. Jim wanted to groan. Or better, a stiff drink because he had no idea how to do this sober.

“Hm-m,” he hummed after a while, sitting up to be able do stare down at the note better. ‘I love you. SMX’ it simply read. “Soppy, tiger.” He wished he could just throw the note away or at least put it down, but he had been holding onto it for all day and he wouldn’t let go now, right in front of Sebastian. It would be like dismissing the words on the note as the distraction they were.

“Well, what do you expect after months of shagging and sharing a bed?” Jim closed his eyes. He couldn’t watch Sebastian’s face right now, not with how blatantly obviously he was looking for a way to escape him. Jim wished he wouldn’t be able to understand why Sebastian hadn’t dared to tell him in person. It wasn’t better like this, though.

Jim cradled the note to his chest. He wanted to say the words back, but instead of opening his mouth, all he could do was press his lips together. Never, not once in his life had he felt the urge to cry. He doubted he would ever feel it again. But seeing Sebastian’s face when he wasn’t able to say the words back, seeing his heart break in his eyes in the second before Sebastian turned away brought him there for a long moment.

“It’s okay,” Sebastian said softly. “I never expected anything anyway.” He was out of the door before Jim could get up and hold him back.

–

A week later, at the end of their daily work meeting, Jim took all his courage—and he never said he had much, not really, anyway and not in those silly little matters like love—together and added in the end, “That’s all for today, tiger. And…I love you.”


End file.
